Yesterday I took my son to Canuck Place Hospice for his summer break. An amazing place for children with terminal illnesses.

As we walked in the door, we noticed a candle was lit at the nurse’s station. Whenever a hospice client passes on, they light a candle in her or his name, a chance to remember the young soul now gone.

This always gives us pause. Over the years, there have been many candles lit, many young souls passed on. We love the opportunity to be at Canuck place, a place where my son fits in, a place where he is free to be himself, and we welcome the respite time. But the candle always gets me…

We head into his room and I unpack all his clothes. As I leave, I hug Tristan and tell him to have fun. He looks carefully into my eyes, to see if there are any tears welling up. (“‘Don’t cry mom”, he always says. “I won’t” I always lie). I hug and kiss him, tell him how thankful I am to be his mom, and I leave. I cry on the drive back to the ferry.

When I get home, there is a message on my telephone. It’s from Tristan. “Don’t worry mom, I’m fine. I’m having fun here. I know how sometimes you worry, but I’m fine. I just wanted to call to let you know. Call me tomorrow.”

Then my husband turns to me and tells me our dear Uncle Bernie has been diagnosed with stage 4 inoperable brain cancer. A shock. Last week he was the picture of health, but he felt a little dizzy, went to the hospital and he now has just months to live. We are all struggling with the meaning of it all. Perhaps that candle in hospice was really meant for Uncle Bernie.

People think I train and eat well to look good. But it goes so much deeper than that. I lost my dad at 47 years of age, my step-mom at 44. My dear uncle died at 54, my son diagnosed with a terminal illness at just 5 years old.

I’ve known the fragility of life from an early age. I’ve had my share of life and death upheavals. And it continues…. three neighbours in the past 2 years have passed away from cancer, the most recent is 47 years old, leaving 3 young boys and a young wife. Another, a doctor, has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

For me, taking care of my vessel is my job, my duty. It is the greatest act of self love I can do. And even now, even while I eat exceedingly well and train consistently, I can do better. And I vow to do better. I will tighten my eating up, and ensure that ALL my meats are organic, my processed eats are minimal to none, and my drink is clean, clear and without artificials of any kind. It’san act of self destruction to feed yourself with sub optimal food and drink when we have so many other choices.

Cancer and all disease are opportunists, waiting to invade a body whose defences are down, whose immune system is weakened. So I do so not out of fear, but out of love and respect for this amazing thing called the human body. Because fear simply cannot build health. Love builds health.

Love yourself into health, has been my motto for many years. And I teach this simple mantra to all my clients. Be thankful for what you have. Be kind to your body. Treat it as you would a loving partner, because it is. It has no say in what you feed it or how you fuel its cells. It is a captive audience. Your cells can only work with what you give it, so give them the best nourishment you possibly can.

You just never know.

Karen

We quietly go to his room and unpack his stuff.

Last weekend I had a party for my local clients at my house. What a blast.

What’s always amazing to me is seeing the profound changes in those women who have been with me for awhile. I likely see it easier than they do, because I don’t see them every day. (And I have photos of many of them when they started with me too! Oohhhh, I should bring those out one day!).

It’s not just the changes in physiques, although that is cool too…mostly I see weight loss and a slow emerging of shape and tone, things lessen here, move about there, the body tightens up….all the good things (and yes, most of my women are 40+).

It’s also how they walk and stand: with confidence, body awareness, and style! They move like they are so comfortable with themselves, and excited by the on-going transformation they see every day. And they also know there are days when we falter, things slip through the cracks. And that’s ok too. We just get back up on that horse again…

As I looked around at the lovely bevy of strong women, I realised how blessed I was, and I told them so. To be able to do what I do, and support other women in finding health and happiness…well, it doesn’t get any better in my books! And when my life careens out of control, or I am feeling despondent, tired or just beat up from life, I know that when I show up for my work, my girls lift me up! It’s a 2-way street really, and women in community is what we all need.

Many thanks ladies for making all of this a reality. Love yourself. Pass it on. Help others.
See you at the gym!

Karen

PS Sign up for my popular 10-Week Challenge has begun…the program that started it all. Come join us! We start in 6 weeks!

I just have to vent…

I have a private Facebook page for my HLP weight training / nutrition women, and one of my ladies posted a pic of her abs…WOW, B….54-years old and rockin’ it!

B. wasn’t always that way, but we’ve watched her re-make over the past year…. she’s done the work, put in the time, tends to her eating, and she stays focused and consistent.

Then some other woman commented, “yeah, but I bet she doesn’t have  a life…she probably spends all her time in the gym.” (No, this was not one of my clients…they know better. That’s ’cause my clients are in the gym working it!)

Oh boy, another excuse-maker weighing in….

Here’s the deal: there are no women on my programs that don’t have a full life. The days of retirees playing with their fitness is gone…my women are mothers, wives, workers….we ALL have huge responsibilities (and none, my dear excuse-maker, than yours truly. I always say that I think the Universe gave me all the bumps and challenges so that I could tell other women, ‘well, if I can do it, you can.” And anyone who knows me, can attest to my over-the-top challenging life with a special needs boy who is a quadrapelegic…and no, I have no care worker.)

And B…yep, she’s raising 2 highly active teens, has a full home business, and also works outside the home. She’s a no-excuses kinda gal, the kind that do well in this life, and the kind I love to work with!

Life is a choice. Everything is. I chose. B chose. And this woman…well, she’s choosing her path too…hopefully she’ll choose another (healthier) one and get off the excuse-making merry go round….so unattractive!

Like I always say, focus on your own journey and never mind the comments from others trying to upset the apple cart. Likely, their apple cart could use a bit of healthy living too!

karen

PS Sign up has begun for my popular 10-Week Best Shape of Your Life Challenge! The September one fills up fast, and I only take 20 gals! Join us!

Seems every year there are more and more myths to debunk when it comes to healthy eating….gosh!

Here’s a link to last week’s Talk Fitness with Karen McCoy. Hopefully this will help clear the air and set you on the right eating track! I’m on the radio every Monday from 9-10 am, Pacific (Mountain) time! Ask me anything!

Debunking the Myths!

PS: Sign up has begun for my popular 10-Week Best Shape of Your Life Challenge! September start! this one fills up fast, and I only take 20 gals! Join us!

A few weeks ago, I held a retreat at my home for my HLP and Challengers clients ….fun, fun, fun! I gotta say, these women were looking great! (My husband agreed!)

I was impressed with how many women were seriously contemplating struttin’ their lovely, shapely bodies on the competition stage. Yet many were hesitant, having heard all the craziness around contest prep. So it was inevitable: I had to start something new…

My new Warrior Woman Competitors Program has started, but it will be different than other programs. Simply, it will be based on building health, not eroding it, a fresh perspective in a sport that is sometimes known for its extremes and its harmful approach to training and eating.

In my view, there are gaping holes in the sport of competition. The sport has grown in numbers, but so too have some of its practices.  I am a minimalist at heart, and I’ve always believed less is more. Case in point: doing endless bouts of cardio will erode health, harm your metabolism in the future, and set you up for metabolic disaster later in life. Cutting calories below 1200 will only teach your body how to really save up that fat in the future, and make future fat loss next to impossible (without doing the same drastic things, because the body knows, and tries to protect itself, so more interventions are required now..)

Some competitors down crazy amounts of so-called supplements whose ingredients I question: colour additives, ingredients you can’t pronounce…really? And women put themselves through sodium manipulation, severe carb depleting, drastic calorie cuts (below humanly possible)….yet you are supposed to walk up on stage looking like the epitome of health. A spray tan and a sparkly suit and heels do wonders to mask the metabolic damage that’s been done over the months leading up to show. Sad but true.

The Warrior Woman’s Competition Prep is rooted in Mother Earth  – our fare is organic, clean, real. Our supplements are real too, basic, with ingredients we know and trust. We do no drugs or dangerous fat burners, and we not buy into marketing hype and the ads that support them. We do not partake in artificials, colours, dyes…we will do no harm to the body. Our training (and our cardio, which is minimal), is the key, and we do it in Phases, much like the phases of the seasons.

I prefer women learn to live like an athlete year round, not a competitor who drastically changes what they do at 12 weeks out, steps on stage at her peak (hopefully, anyway), then loses it all afterwards. That, to me, isn’t fun. I’ve done it. It confused me then, and it still confuses me today. I prefer women live, eat, and train a different way, the Warrior Woman Way. That’s what I want to teach other women – to honour the body. I want women to honour and build strength and vitality in that amazing vessel – our body. And the trophy, the reward, lies in the fact that she looks and feels strong and powerful, fit and healthy, year round.

Onward, Warrior Women! See you on the competition trail!

Karen

PS  – Please join me this Monday at 9 am for my next radio show – Talk Fitness with Karen McCoy, where I debunk the eating myths once and for all! CLICK HERE for more information.

So many times, women want to know exactly what my programs are and how it’s different than other stuff you’d get on the Internet.

“I can get that for free on the Internet already,” said one woman recently. I didn’t try to convince her: her goal was clear…its was all about info, thank you very much, and that’s cool too. Because if what you want is to see how to do a bicep curl, then it’s all there, in colour, on YouTube or whatever.

But if you yearn for a community, for something inspiring (and extremely cost-effective!), uplifting and something to define us older women, to help carve a different path of purpose, health and vitality, then that’s where the roads converge. Because while we love our reps (and the lovely biceps it carves), my gals know there is so much more to it! But you gotta do the work! If you don’t then it’s time and money wasted!

Yes, we do weight training exercises, with specific sets, reps, weights, exercise orders. We use drop sets and strip sets. We learn different lifting and breathing techniques. We do whole body fat-burnign moves and shaping, isloation moves too.

We talk clean eating, carb cycling, sports supplements, macronutrients. We swap recipes, listen to tele-coachign calls to inspire and uplift us, and we chat with each other via a Private Facebook page for my ‘Inner Circle’.

We come from all corners of the globe, and share a common philosophy: we want to be well and we want to do well. And we want to share it.

More than anything, what we do here at McCoy Fitness and within my Best Shape Challenges and my Healthy Living Program is we live, eat and train from a different place. A very different place.

We call ourselves Warrior Women. Empowered Women. Women who walk in truth, strength and heart. We share, laugh, cry and support other women in being healthy and whole. Oh yes, and we do lift weights. They are one of our many tools to get us there…

I thought I would share with you last month’s Tele-Coaching call – The Warrior Woman Within. Because what we do is so much more than lift weights. We live and breathe and think from a different place.

We are Women Warriors!

Thanks to all my Women Warriors on the HLP who have been on this journey with me, and who have allowed me to teach them our way, and to help me create a reference point for other women searching….

We are women supporting women, I always say!

karen
We are Warrior Women!

Sisters, what’s going on?? 

It’s crazy but true, some of the worst support systems in the world are other women…friends, family, co-workers.

I see this all the time with women getting healthy for the first time…their women friends are apparently supportive, and then the innuendos and soft undercuts come… WHY? “You’re too skinny”. “You’re obsessive about training,”. “How does your family put up with all this?”

.
Ladies, IGNORE THIS! If you stick with your healthy eating and training lifestyle, you eventually find another ‘tribe’, the healthy kind, because you’ll find you have less in common. It’s not bad to leave your old life / friends / community or tribe behind if it means you can move toward health, vitality, and power.

You have 2 choices: you can either move forward or you slide right back into unhealthiness again, and re-join the old pack! DON’T let that happen! They chose their life, you chose yours. You don’t need to join them on their self-destructive path! Nor are you responsible for them. And if they make you feel gui…lty about not partying, always going to the gym, or not ‘hanging out’ because youd rathre be moving forward, that’s THEIR deal, not yours, but they are trying to sucker you into the old ways, to make themselves feel better.

It’s almost as insidious as the druggie or alcoholic that reams all over a newly-sober person who has walked away from that life. I’ve lived on the other side of the track, like a lot of you. And I made a choice many moons ago to make the most of my body, this life and this opportunity. And I know it all too well with parents who died in their 40’s and my son who lives life from a wheelchair, and can never know the beauty of a strong, working body.

Just walk away. You can let go with love. You don’t have to preach or fight back, just smile, grab your bowl of chicken breast and greens, and know that you are on the right path – YOUR PATH and at any time they are welcome to join you. Surprisingly some do, most don’t. Live your life wearing your fullest colours. It’s how it’s supposed to be!

It was inevitable…I started my own radio show!

Yep, I’m a busy gal, but I really don’t feel like it. My work is my life, really and it’s 24/7. And besides, there is still so much work to be done….

There is so much confusion among women on how to train, how to eat and how to live in balance, with purpose, health and passion, in this new millenium. Info is everywhere, but there is little knowledge, less wisdom, and fewer real leaders.  We need more authentic, experienced-based voices, voices like ours, you and me, the 35+ woman, struggling to find balance, working through challenges, trying to reach for the stars. Can we reach them? Yes we can!

So every Monday morning from 9-10 am, I’m hosting Talk Fitness with Karen McCoy on Blog Talk Radio. Did my first show today…cool!

It’s just another way to reach out and help women everywhere with their training, eating and lifestyle questions, especially in this day and age when we’re all getting older (yikes) and there is sooo much info out there, we’re getting confused!

Upcoming episodes will be posted on my McCoy Fitness Facebook page. Because I find we’re all thinking the same things, same questions, same struggles, same ponders. Women supporting women, I always say!

Here’s today’s Q and A  sent in by several women:

– What’s the best way to get in shape for the summer?
– What’s the best fat-loss supplement?
– Should I choose a low-fat diet and how much should I eat?
– How do I stay motivated?

…and more!

Join me Mondays, 9-10 am for Talk Fitness with me!!

It’s the Real McCoy of fitness, eating and living.
No holds barred.
Straight, honest, real answers for todays’ busy, awesome woman!

karen

After training month after month, people ask me, “What do I do now? How do I change it up? What’s the next step?” 

Here’s my audio response, in a nutshell! How to keep on keepin’ on! (And yes, you do keep on keepin’ on!)

Enjoy!
My Healthy Living Tidbits.

Karen

PS I’ve got 3 spots left in my How to Eat, Live, Train and Think like a Competitor (but not necessarily compete). For women who have been weight training  for a time..I’ll tell you how we stay motivated, train and reach  goals month after month. And I’ll share a  few secrets us competitors use throughout the year! 

When: Saturday, June 29th, my place (North Saanich), 9am-3:30 pm. Only $59.00! Bring a healthy lunch! And come meet some cool, fun women like you! Directions sent out upon sign-up.

By invite only, so email me and we can chat and see if it’s a good seminar for YOU and your goals!

I’m a Starbuck’s nut. I admit it. I simply love a good, strong Americano or two each day. And every day I pass by the lovely tray of goodies they have sitting in waiting…

People ask me how I do it. How can I resist, day after day, one of those lovely displayed treats. You have your own version: chocolate. Or chips. Or whatever your weakness may be (and we all have one!).

I love people’s comments: “I could never do what you do (compete/stay lean), because I love food too much.” (Yeah, that’s the secret, I simply hate food. Done!). Or, “Everything in moderation,” (I love this one…usually said by people who really don’t know the first thing about discipline or moderation.

Really, I like to teach all my clients that when faced with your own version of temptation, walk on by….and do it again and again. THAT’S how you build resistance, control and resistance. Really! You build your outer muscles by applying resistance to them (weights), yes? They won’t get stronger without it. So, you do the same with your inner muscles – you walk on by that pastry tray and say silently that today you will resist. There…you just built up your inner muscles of choice and discernment a little bit more. Feel good?

Then, if you like, you build in one day a week in which you get to buy whatever you like as a treat, and you go for it. I do this with all my clients – build in a treat day. (Funny thing is, you’d think that they would go crazy. They do, the first time, but after eating clean, they feel awful. Good. Welcome to our way of  living).

It’s about you being in the driver’s seat. It’s about you being in control. Carving your own destiny. Building your own lifestyle. Having a strong, sexy, energized body. And yes, enjoying a treat, once in awhile. With discipline, respect and control. That’s how the clean eating athlete lives. See, we live a different way in our head. Like I always say, all success starts and ends within. How you think is how you live / train / eat / love / make money / succeed…..health and wellness is an inside job.

For me, a Starbuck’s chocolate chip cookie is a slice of heaven. Or Nutella, oh yeah, Nutella. In fact, I have a jar of it sitting in my cupboard right now, and when I need a fix, I grab a spoon and dig in, and I allow myself one teaspoonful….however high I want to mound it up. And I put it back. For next time, maybe in a week or two. I’ve had that same jar of Nutella for over 2 months now. My friend, my saviour, my once-in-awhile high.

Put limits around your cheat. Once a week, and one TBSP (or cookie, or whatever). Make it the same day of the week, if you want. And I promise you, you will get back in the drivers’ seat and start gaining control over what was once the uncontrollable. It’s how we’re supposed to live.

And you will feel free, really, really free.

And lean. Promise!

karen